Humm todae is a long day for me coz i went to my dads shop and gotta study for my tests.. stess
Humm actually all these while it has only been him in my heart.. i said before a beri long time ago waiting for him is like waiting for rain in such a drought, useless and disappointing but i dun like to use that phrase now.. no more.. coz she uses it too after that so its kinda weird coz i dun like ppl to compare me and you.. sorry.. its just a sensitive thing to talk about because its too much of a coincidence between u and i and similarities.. till people can call u my name and me ur name.. but it makes no sense though we may like the same singer hilary, jj ect..and like pigs even the same guy before.. but i dun feel we are alike but ppl around us feel so..even terence felt that.. and worst still xin once asked min wow isn;t that u in the pic when its her pics.. why is everything so hard? It just won;t go away..can't i just stay free from you.. i think i need a miracle to make it through
today diyanah said something quit hurting though its quite true coz her words are logical but she did not realise it will hurt ppl's feelings bahz .. but i will not repeat it here.. coz i know many people will be reading this and ask me this and that again... hate people to do that.. if someone's unhappy already dun go and add oil to the fire .. pls.. diaoz..
Okay humm.. anyway i dun really wanna bother abt how people look at us.. its jsut that maybe the scar and memories of the stupiest things i have done for u may may not be erased.. coz i could just pick up the peices of memories when someone mention sth but to u it means nth to u.. i used to think that i was strong till the day everything went wrong..promises are not meant to be broken even for the past.. but since its gone.. its gone i also dun wish to rake it up unless tings lead me thinkin of them again..
Sometimes i really wonder why i cannot let u go...
Seriously when i msg u todae i felt like telling u just leave me alone and getaway from me.. i just wanna be free .. no one in my mind, no need to guess what u're thinking and which part of ur words are true...no need to rake up the times i felt my heart torn into pieces...
Seems like my worlds faling apart... but u still seem to be the only one to make it all right.. again.. coz u always fill up my memories with new beautiful and unforgettable memories to try to replace the old ones.. where everything was nth at all to u... now it seems that u care.. do u really?... i am sry i do admit i think too much just when someone question my love for u and feelings between us.. coz i got no confidence.. its strong from me to u once but now its kinda hard to let u in totally coz i scare that u may slam the brakes again..
Though i got the urge to tell u to let me go and leave me alone just now.. when i sent the msg, i thought of the days without u where i have stoppen moving... i wasn;t moving on.. i was neber gone before.. becoz i still picture i could bring u back and picture i could turn back to the time we were on the boat and starring at the stars.. the fireworks, clarke quay.. ,sentosa... so many things and memories just made me put a stop of letting u go... because i gotta hold on to u.. i dunno why.. but i just feel that way..
Because everytime i am determine to forget abt everything u made me remember the beatiful diasters happened to us.. how difficult it is to get together again... and how others just can't understand us and tried to separate us... like miss tan.. i dun understand why.. dun they noe its none of their business.. anyway i hate them..
I will hate myself if i told u to getaway just now.... i almost did but i did not in the end coz .... couldn't even bear to say gdbye..
And to others out there.. stop telling me what i should do and where i shld go... coz i had enough.. its none of ur business just mind ur own stuffs and stop making sacastic remarks thinking that its fun to see people sad and down.. and if u dun like the idea of me and him together then see no evil hear no evil speak no evil no one ask u to go find out wad happen next to us... so just shut up la okay .. i getting kinda tired to hear this and that for no reason that make my heart so confused and make me feel lost...
Okay its late at night le i gotta sleep le tml got test haiz. hehe
I miss u.. nitez
Yo! I want you to know that i am a ordinary gerl but i am not just a plain jane next door. I am 18 this year. I am from the Singapore Polytechnic Media & Communications. I love to dance,host and sing I was born on 19 May 1991 I am stubbon at times but thats coz i know what i want in my life. I love Foursome and my family. I'm Jayne Toh!