Humm hi there.. nowadays quite busy so did not really update much abt my life.. so todae dun have to attend any lessons so here i am again updating my dear bloggie *smile*
After the camp i am happie to realise ppl miss me.. lolx.. my mum .. him ... probably my dad .. hehez for my brother.. the first thing he said was the hse was so quiet without u now the moment u step in its so noisy again lolx.. ( i noe i beri noisy la but thats the zhen u all noe wadz.. )
Dunno why after the camp i am still in the kinda of hype mood.. but i dun really wanna care about any other stuffs especially in relationship or wadsoeva.. beri tired.. i only know my chinese o levels oral is on 14th july.. gotta just try to think of some common topic that may come out for the conversation section....
And i worked yesterday.. managers calling me wrong names mistooking me as her again.. she came to mac and he went to mac to find me with his sis as well so they kinda walked past each other.. actually i dun really wish to look like anyone especially her... just kinda weird ... and being mistooken as her is not really a compliment bahz.. though she's pretty ....
Sometimes i tell myself dun feel inferior because u are not bad either coz i got other areas i am better.. i know filming.. i can cherograph dance steps.. i am pretty well in my studies ... i am not the kind of ah lians ect ect... the fact is that i still will think if the past every now and then.. the reason i forgive him is not that i forgot EVERYTHING is that i still feel for him so i can pretend nothing has ever happen but you know what.. i have it all figure out.. its like the kind of feeling is fading...
In the past i liked these phrases
" I wanna thank you now coz i am free, i can breathe again and i'll neber going back to you"
" Being with you has opened my eyes"
" You know you did it i am gone... to find someone to live for in this world.. i am already gone"
Guessed i broke that promise i made to myself...
Sometimes just feels that what goes around comes around.. you should know by now.... its all about take .. you took too much.. its i dun wanan regret.. you regretted it the last time .. i dun wanna to taste the feeling of losing someone important and the feeling of regrets....i gave you my world.. everything ....but you wouldn't see...I'm not that naive.....Even heroes have the right to bleed... morever i am only a human...i will get tired .. i know you feel irritated and hate me to be aorund when we quarrel but sometimes if i dun even care abt you.. i will not even bother to quarrel with you... seriously... i will feel sad too its not just you..that i just want you to know.. i found a reason to me.. i wished i could make it all away... the sad memories i already tried not to think or even mention it infront of you ..certain stuffs its not that i am not aware is that i dun wanna ask ... time heals everything.. thats what they say... the more u try to reassure me the more i feel insecure.. all i needed was the truth..
One thing i am scared of is losing hold of you..the feeling is so frightening its driving me insane... but now.. guess we need time to figure out everything...
We already dun mind how ppl look at us especially in mac... dunno why we always face alot of difficulties just to be together...
Last year it was your rank thingy.. then miss tan.. your mother... you changed heart followed by me losing feelings.. then it became the prob of after ur exams.. then this year its abt me being insecure.... quarrels...and feeling tired.... the way ppl look at us and the things ppl say abt us...ect ect.. why can;t things just be as simple as the others..
Realised as we grow older and become more mature.. we will find our own promised island.. but its whether you still trust each other.. as much as before...??
I dunno.. but i just gotta take a break for sometime....*smile*
Yo! I want you to know that i am a ordinary gerl but i am not just a plain jane next door. I am 18 this year. I am from the Singapore Polytechnic Media & Communications. I love to dance,host and sing I was born on 19 May 1991 I am stubbon at times but thats coz i know what i want in my life. I love Foursome and my family. I'm Jayne Toh!