THE VERONICAS. :: UNTOUCHED. ::

Heart of excile

Ello..

Today is the final rehearsal for speech day
As usual i was at the backstage lorx
But i was bored coz actually backstage too many ppl le i onli need to give commands ask them help to bring in and bring out certain stuffs.. i juz need to help them carry and make sure they bring out the mikes on time.. nth much to do for mEdiaTeCh actually for this event coz on the actual day the professionals will take over...

As i said i was bored hehez.. so i went to walk around the school.. drink water,buy some fruits to eat coz i neber eat lunch as i was rushing to see a doctor coz of my throat and my alsel ( dunno how to spell ) .. beri scary .. coz beri big then a lot of ppl was shocked when they see my swollen mouth.. ( ugly haiz .. and disgusting i guess).. but thats not the worst thing.. the worst thing is that i cannot really speak properly and eat properly coz beri pain.. then i had to try to pronounce the words properly.. kelly laughed at me todae for dunno how many times le lorx..

Coz i pronounce words like u beri noisy de "cao" become u beri "zhao ' ... and lots more .. but is not i wanna de lor is really quite difficult to pronounce "s" and other words lolx.. but nth much actually coz eventually will recover soon.. juz that for the moment yewzhen will be quite quiet.. even my three good buddies say i beri quiet at times especially when i eating ... but when my mouth not hurt that much i will become noisy again le .. hehez..

haiz hope my mouth will not get more and more swollen .. coz juz now even mr tan can see my mouth swollen a little inside he say if i not okay i can go hm but i dun wanna lolx

Coz mouth pain dun means my leg and hand cannot do work mah..

Okie back to the rehearsal.. humm i walked around the school saw melisa and her bf hugging at the staircase there.. saw wu shu ppl outside the hall .. saw jasper .. saw chen min ,georgina they all marching.. saw my juiors hu cannot find suzanne tan ... they need the key for the outdoor system and ms tan juz disappear..

I realise sth .. always when need to find ms tan she will nto be there but when i dun need to find her she pian pian appear infront of me .. wth.. liek todae she went to my class to find me.. then i thought wad happen when mr goh say i was wanted.. in the end i think when i saw is ms tan my face give the diaoz look.. then my classmates laughed .. hahaz

The rehearsal was pretty smooth.. mr tan was there to help us.. then one of the dancers kicked the speakers belonged to the professionals... we took sometimes to figure how to fixed back the thingy.. mr tan say he also dunno where to pluck and ask us sat then tell the professionals abt their speaker but in the end i anyhow pluck the wire then got it right . lolx... lucky hehez .. then lisa and stefanie say i by luck lor .. then i purposely use my " duan she tou " tone to tok to them .. they laughed like hell .. i seem like a clown more than a senior there .. hahaz but nvm abt it as long as they happie and i happie can le bahz..

mEdiAtEcH should have more fun and bond between each other .. i believe if miss tan allow us we can be but she always dun support the actitvites we plan .. so be it lor.. last yr i organised th0 efirst mediatech camp it turn out to be pretty succesful but this yr ms tan say dun wanna .. then dun wanna lor..she incharge ma wad can we say right zhen?? haiz

Then todae got scolding form miss tan .. coz stef and lisa packed the stuffs also neber pack properly ... then keys also dunno put where .. doors also neber lock properly.. cable also neber keep ... then i kena lor.. tell u all before le this kinda thing all standard one.. not my fault also will become my fault.. thats the point of being the incharge there.. think zhen also will agree.. coz me and her always got suan by miss tan for nth .. not our fault she also can say till like should blame on us like that

For example i alreadi tell lisa to lock every thing and then keep the projectors and the cables .. return all keys to miss tan.. i tell stef keep mikes and mike stands in the end they kept some stuffs left some stuffs behind.. lock door till keys all separate some with mr tan some with miss tan some dunno where .. i ask lisa she keep and all things ok le ma then she say okie le and she ran hm.. same for stef.. when mr tan tell me to inform ppl controlling the outdoor system on sat meet at 3.. they beri fast.. said bye bye then go off le .. left me and zhen.. then me got said by ms tan abt the keys and mikes.. at the parade square but u noe sth i am incharge of stage not parade square.. then she say i neber do my job..

in the end settle everything le then she dunno disppear where.. me and wei shen tryin to find her.. walk here walk there ask here ask there .. dunno where she go.. until finally saw her walking down.. but dun care abt her la.. i hate her lorx.. she sometimes isdo things for our own good but her mouth like one day neber suan us will die.. then sometimes she no one to blame then will find fault to scold uu infront of juniors de loz.. always ask us do stuffs then the juniors no need do things.. till mr tan say can ask the juniors to do

The juniors dun wanna learn give us their kinda attitude then she blame us.. she biased till so obvious.. but hu ask juniors to listen to her words .. me and zhen dun give in to her when not our fault wadz.. where can bai bai let her scold and vent anger on us when she is juz being unreasonable.. sometimes she is good but at times i really cannot stand her especially when it comes to her interferring my personal life..

Then after the rehearsal i saw kelly.. she finish helping ms koh to paint le so i went hm with her.. cannot find yong zhen also think she went hm wif wei shen bahz...

So now here i am again at hm blogging hehez

Watched holland village juz now on channel 8.. pretty nice watching it though i have watched before... that was a show being broadcast 2 yrs ago i think.. when me first knew my mediatech friends and friends in secondary school.. for example wei xiong, dennis,jing kai, jun sian,douglas,andrea, chen tze, karan,jackie,phay kuan,serene, wei xin, di yao, thomas,and lots of other friends in 1a1.. i remember i am even more crazy and nosiy at that time .. wei xiong cannot stand me i guess.. at first i dun really like him and neither did he like me be in mediatech i think lolx.. but that was the past now me and wei xiong still ok.. at least no hatred hoz hahaz.. i remember last time he in mediatech always call zhen kitty till zhen angry .. and things all happen coz of a pack pf tissues..and everything juz started

They started their relationships .. and i started mine too.. it was sort of helped by zhen and wei xiong .. i rememeber i was with zhen walking to the reservior and it even rained.. zhen keep urging me to say yesh and wei xiong say juz say yesh ..ect..ect.. they all may not rememeber but i do.. coz sometimes i like to think abt things in the past juz be a part of my memories..

And ofcorse i said yes in the end coz i like him alreadi.. he is kind and helpful ..i dun deny he is my first boyfriend official one coz in the past all is juz u noe.. for jun jie..not lin jun jie but is someone else.. he is nice but its my fault that i dun like to drag.. my feelings started to fade not that i like someone else but that i think i am nto mature enough and moreva he and my world are totally different.. i am more to a chinese background and his a english and cantonese.. he is shy and me too .. we seldom will chat wif each other.. so i ended it .. but we remain as frenz now..

Then when i in sec 1..rememeber the days i went for the video editing course and competition with zhen , and the three of them.. and there it goes starting to fall for him..he liked the song scared.. and we sort of started the topic abt it .. and further but nth more than juz a fren.. and soon i am sec 2.. i teased him with my friend coz he seems to like her.. in the end i met him at the playground the day he broke up wif ps now patch le la but that night he confess lots of things .. told me hu he actually liked long ago and so.. but no point coz wads done is done.. we long ago alreadi like each other but all started and confessed onli the day before my daddys birthday.. i remember my brother an di went to buy the cake for dad.. that was when he asked and that was when it all started..

Had happie memories.. but i will keep it in my heart the happie stuffs and the past him in my heart not the him now.. coz he changed and everything changed i can onli say he is really not hu i noe ... zhen agreed too once when we both chatted abt him.. me and her shld noe better than anyone else.. coz i guess she noes my feelings.. she once felt that way like i did before..

Anyway me and him did have some memorable places.. i will still past by them at times by chance coz no choice.. eg.. my playground.. singapore river..clarke quay.. the mrt track from sem to yishun.. orchard road.. the worst is my school... mediatech.. control rm.. the stage and everything around me.. even at mac .. or wadeva..

When everything first ended .. i remember that was our 6 mths anniversary i made almond jelly for him but that was when everything actually started to fade..

U noe wad.. the time we went count down he brought her infront of my eyes to places and walk past places we once had been together .. and he treat her the exact same way he once treated me.. my heart will ache that time when i see them .. i cried for dunno how many days and times a day.. i alreadi lost count of it.. and watching firework wif him at last but his heart is not wif me... i am numb till i am speechless in the end.. he sent her hm.. after the whole thing and left me there juz like that without a word wif some new collegues i hardly knew.. it was 1 plus.. late and dark.. we cannot find a taxi and mrt station is closed.. no bus to take hm.. nth .. nowhere to go.. we are lost.. i felt like breaking down at that time coz i hated him for makin me face this world alone .. he dun even give a damn if i could find my way hm he shld noe better that there was no way to get hm unless we get a taxi.. but there are no available.. i hated him... i hated him.. i really do..

But i muz thank him coz that was when i knew his lies.. i realises wadeva damn stupid reasons he gave were juz lies .. which may be the truth but i dun think so.. he said he haben forgot abt me totally and hugged me but i pushed him away coz he no longer is the one wanted.. he woke me up.. i noe he is a lier.. lier.. getaway from me.. when linh came back i promised its the last time i cried for him.. and its true till now

I may sound sad now i am juz disappointed.. i dun dare to trust anyone else.. coz i dunno when they are lying .. i dunno when they are telling the truth.. becoz of this i did not believe some ppl.. sry.. i did not meant to say stuffs to hurt u all but its the past.. hope u have forgotten everything ..

I rememeber that time went to suntec with zhen and wei xiong.. on the bus back hm.. i cried.. wad a cry baby rite hahaz.. i tried to hide fromthem but i think they noe they juz didn;t say anything.. zhen pass me a tissue.. and lend me her shoulder..

The next day me her wx and yan ming went to some places i rememeber me playing ddr till siao.. wei xiong sponsor most of it ..lolx but i muz thank him coz i really enjoy myself and forget abt everything when i am dancing.. in the sense steping the arrows la hahaz.. thanks
Even pretended holding ym hand into mac .. coz i wanna him to noe i have forgotten him ( though at the time not totally).. coz he keep saying i like him .. and tell ppl in my mac ect ..

I first started work when i see him and her.. my tears will juz be brimming in my eyes.. diyanah my manager thought is i too stress but it isn't.. i juz told them i not feeling well..but isn't..

But after sometime feelings do fade and till completly though memories will not be forgotten..

Bad or good.

But surprisingly i neber hated her before..

I no longer hate him as well

In the past i hated him or rather try to hate him and keep a distance from him to keep myself away and from swinging ..i scared i will not be determine to forget him so i stay far far from him and leave silently.. so after i have forgotten.. i no longer hate him..

now looking back at the times i juz will think its over no matter happie or sad things thats how i learnt to grow up.. and face probs instead of running away

Ok i blogged enough le hehez..

Buaiz..